Visited By An Angel

Me: Um, are you lost?

Angel: No, I heard you had muses. Thought I stop by.

Me: I didn't invite you in.

Angel: Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. There's a special clause for muses.

Me: Right. Well, in any case, you should head out. I really don't like you all that much, Gloom Boy, and I don't think you can hold your own in this house very well.

Angel: But... you watch my show!

Me: For Cordy. Did you see that shirt she had on last ep? Proof there's a god. And she's got that yummy tattoo on the small of her back. Mmmmmm. And I love the other background characters. I even like Wesley.

Angel: Wesley? You like *Wesley* more than me? And what do you mean I can't hold my own?

Methos: She means what she means, child. <to me> Where'd he come from?

Me: Wandering muse. You know, Angel. From 'Angel'. The one who sulks all the time.

Methos: Hm. Well if you have any problem evicting him, let me know. I'm not putting up with any more sulking. Got enough of it from MacLeod.

Me: He's not staying. I don't like the sulking, either, and ...

Angel: Hey! I'm still in the room here! And what do you mean, I 'can't hold my own'?

Me: Yes, I noticed. And I mean what I mean.

Methos: You can't, child. Trust me.

Angel: But... I'm a *vampire*! And quit calling me 'child'!

Methos: <giggling> A vampire?

Me: Yeah, 'Angel's' a vampire -- remember? -- Cordelia has visions, and Wesley does research....

Methos: Mm. Wesley. Cute boy.

Me: Yes. And then there's Angel, the vampire, Sulker in The Night, Gloom Boy, He of the Poor Choices in Girlfriends... Angel.

Methos: <giggling louder> Oh, that's ... cute. A vampire. <giggles>

Angel: It's not funny! It's angsty and dark! I'm 150 years old and I have a soul, and I have to repent for the people I've killed, and ... <to me> why is he laughing at me? Make him quit laughing at me...

Methos: <laughing> You ... really should ... go... 150 years old...

Angel: I AM 150 years old!

Methos: <trying to smother laughter> So?

Angel: So I'm not a 'child'!

Methos: <fails> No, of course not... <more laughter>

Angel: Fine, you asked for this... <goes all vampy>

Methos: <looks open-mouthed at the teeth and bumpy forehead, then slides down the wall, laughing too hard to stand> Oh, stop...

Angel: I could kill you, you know. <turns to me> I could kill him.

Me: Um... maybe. You're pretty good. But I seriously doubt it.

Angel: <in a fit of bad judgement, pulls out a sword and presses the point of it to Methos' chest> Things tend to die when you stab them through the heart.

Methos: <looking at sword blandly, wiping tears from his eyes> Things do. I don't. You should put that away before someone gets very dead.

Angel: <un-vamps, looks at me in confusion> Wouldn't kill him?

Me: No. Sorry. You're cute and all, but we just don't do 'sulk about the ex-girlfriend' around here, and frankly, as far as dark pasts go, you're out-classed.

Angel: <looks confused and puppy-doggy> Really?

Me: <nods>

Angel: But.. Darla...

Me: Was an amateur.

Angel: <looks down blankly at Methos on the floor>

Methos: <smirking> Would you do the face thing again?

Jack: <enters room, eating an apple> Hey -- it's Angel!

Angel: Finally. A fan. Nice to meet you, I'm Angel.

Jack: Yeah, I just said that. Where's Cordy?

Angel: Cordelia?

Jack: Yeah. Cordelia. <looks behind Angel>

Angel: She's not here

Jack: Not here? <looks at me>

Me: Not here. He came alone.

Jack: What an idiot.

Angel: I am NOT! And I'm not a child!

Methos: Please do the face thing again? Pretty please? <trembles on the verge of laughter>

Jack: 'Face thing'? You didn't bring Cordy AND you vamp'ed out in this house? <face goes dark>

Angel: <stepping backwards> Uh, just a little... he was laughing...

Jack: <pulls out a 357 magnum, levels it at Angel's head, and turns to me while taking another bite of the apple in his off-hand> Do ya think a Magnum'll do enough head trauma to count as 'decapitation'? I'm willing ta bet it will.

Angel: <raises hands> Now, let's all calm down...

Jack: I'm calm. <turns back to me> Did he threaten you?

Me: Nope. Just Methos.

Jack: What an idiot. Look, Angel, no one threatens Methos but me. And no one -- NO ONE -- comes into this house and grows fangs. No fangs unless you live here, no glow-y eyes, EVER. Those are the rules. I'll be escorting you off the premises now. You'll be leaving all peaceful-like, right?

Angel: Fine. I can tell I'm not wanted here. <glares at Methos>

<Angel and Jack leave>

Methos: They're so cute when they're young.

Me: You were a little harsh on him.

Methos: Maybe. <stands up> If he comes back, he can stay for awhile.

Me: Why would he come back?

Methos: For the challenge? Some muses like a challenge. And that one especially likes to have to *work* for things.

Me: So you *have* watched the show.

Methos: Oh, yes. <looks thoughtful> That pesky 'no sex' thing would really be an issue for a muse in this house, though.

Me: Technically, it's not 'no sex'. It's just no moments of 'perfect happiness'.

Methos: <gets an evil glint in his eyes> So... he can have sex, but he can't completely enjoy it?

Me: Um...

Methos: Call me when he comes back. <saunters out of room>